Abandoned Christmas trees on the drizzle permeated pavements (no longer loved and admired), mountains of glass bottles balanced precariously in black boxes and cardboard smoothie maker and Amazon boxes (clearly having proudly/hopefully arriving at their destination) line the streets. Gluttony. But it’s all over now aint it? Dang nabbit! And we’re all back at work with a universal ‘Meh’ resonating through the air. Well, to be honest I am quite pleased. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the whole period immensely and loved seeing everyone, but now I am ready to stop washing up continuously, finishing off the ends of chocolate bars (because they have eyes) and going for short wintery walks. I want things to happen now.

Last night was unfortunate however, as the lady upstairs appears to have welcomed back her lover with open arms. I was awoken at 3.30am in the depths of their great passion. The night before starting work after Christmas isn’t normally a time people indulge the fantasies, is it? But alas; jibbly thighs? Morning fatigue? DEEP NIGHT lackluster? Not for these two.

Read the full column on Bristol 24/7 HERE


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