“It is in the twenties that the actual momentum of life begins to slacken, and it is a simple soul indeed to whom as many things are as significant and meaningful at thirty as at ten years before. At thirty an organ-grinder is a more or less a moth eaten man who grinds an organ – and once he was an organ-grinder! The unmistakable stigma of humanity touches all those impersonal and beautiful things that only youth ever grasps in their impersonal glory.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned
So around the time that I stopped writing on here was when I fully acknowledged that I was pregnant. Then I got all scared about sharing things and then I shared completely non-discreetly on Typed Tiger Notes. It was supposed to be a private blog, but it was so clearly me. Not least because I forgot to use ‘secret names’. So anyway, I still kind of like Typed Tiger Notes and I thought there would be potential in it and Alba is a little tiger after all – but I have lost the flippin password and now blogger have locked me from my own blog. Then I thought about it a minute and decided that it was about ME writing anyway, so actually, there’s no tiger involved in the writing, only that she is quite heavily inspirational and a big gleaming light beam. Apart from all of these things, I had stopped blogging and now it is time to sort of sporadically start blogging again, for no other reason than I quite liked doing it as a way to document and rage and all sorts of other things. This really is a traditional blog. I am not turning it into a showcase, advert place or aspirational wonder wall. For one thing, I only have an iPhone camera thanks to smashing my camera on a tiled floor and another – as I said, this is a traditional blog. It’ll be messy in the way that life is. I am one of the messiest people I know, and now I have a child, I am messier. I spill everything, I am covered in banana.
Also, I should say that I now have issue five of my magazine out and that’s extremely scary. I am not going back to my full time job and I am now actually freelance and I have launched Bristolkin with my friend Sal and her baby, Jessica. The babies are instrumental in its existence, as we are essentially documenting baby things, lessons, stories and stuff to do in Bristol. We lean to the green and we don’t dictate. But there are opinions – mainly that everyone is different. Maybe it will mean less baby on here, but probably not, because she’s pretty important is this Alba. She’s the reason I have been away for over a year.
I think I’m different.